Mar 30th 2019 - I was scheduled for 6 weeks, 30 days Monday through Friday daily for radiation treatment in London at the London Regional Cancer Center at Victoria Hospital, ending March 28th 2019. The plan was 25 days of radiation treatment to the breast, chest, armpit and back, once completed 5 more radiation treatments to just the breast and armpit area - for good measure! This is another treatment that I know will help, but will have it's side effects and I'm just going to have to push through it.
February 14th 2019, was my first day of treatment, day 1. I wasn't as scared as I was with the chemotherapy treatment, but still nervous of course. When I was 16 I received radiation treatment as well, let me tell you a lot has changed. The department has a totally different look now, there are 3 treatment machines all separated by different waiting areas and change rooms, even the check in area is different - really I don't recognize it at all.
As of day 1, I only have the appointment today - 2:20pm. At the check in desk you are required to "take a number", sit and wait until it's called to check in - this will be a daily occurrence every time I come, the only thing that will change is the number I pull and wait to be called. Weekly, I am given a schedule for the next 6 weeks, Monday through Friday; I receive my first schedule with multiple times varying from 8:40am - 1:30pm , there are defiantly going to be some early morning involved.
Because this is my first appointment I am escorted back to the treatment area, the area I have been assigned for the next 6 weeks. Area B.
I'm instructed I will come here each time, use the change room to change into a hospital gown from the waste up (ah yes, those beautiful blue tie up at the back gowns..) once done, sit in the chairs and wait to be called.
I swear since being diagnosed in July 2018, the past 7 months have half been about waiting for your name to be called. Ugh.
Everyday I will be greeted by a radiation tech who calls my name and takes me around the corner to the treatment area. As I pass the tech's station where there are multiple computer and tv screens set up, I know those are for the cameras in the room that will be focused on me pre, during and post treatment - I'll be the only one that is allowed in the room when I am receiving radiation, but be sure I won't be alone.
I walk down the hallway to the room which is decorated with superhero, flowers and rainbows, cartoon character and happy face stickers along the walls. It's sweet to see, puts a smile on my face, but in that very instant my smile fades, knowing that someone so tiny, so young and so scared will have to go through this too.... life isn't fair.
There it is, the machine. It's so much bigger then I remember 17 years ago. The table is set up for me already, there is no time wasted and they are setting me up in position right away. I'm to lie on my back with both arms above my head with my left arm out of the gown and my breast exposed - this is the position I'll be remembering for the next 30 treatments.
The techs start lining up the "tattoos" on my chest and breast for the treatment area. This is very important that they get everything spot on, even a millimeter makes a difference. To do so, they turn off the lights - the room is dark, the only glow of a light is from the machine hovering above my torso. Everything has to be perfect and lined up exactly.
With my treatment, the doctor wants to bring the radiation closer to my skin rather then deep down, closer to the organs. To achieve this, a piece of bolus will be set on my breast and chest area every treatment, it will be taped down to my body to make sure there are no air pockets between myself and the piece.
The bolus is hard to describe; it's a heavy piece of material that is thick and firm, but yet flexible and stretches. This is will act as a second skin and be able to "trick" the radiation to stay closer to the skin.
The last addition to my body is a breathing monitor. This is placed on my stomach near my belly button - it will send signals to the machine when I am in and out of range for treatment. This handy dandy little guy will be the one who controls everything (keep reading for explanation).
I'm all set and ready to go. The radiation techs leave the room, leaving me laying on the table alone and listening to the soft music playing in the background for comfort. Microphones are set up around the room for the techs to be able to communicate with me and I with them, so again I am not completely alone.
To be 100% sure I am in the right position for treatment a couple of pictures are taken; while breathing and while holding my breath. Next is a full scan starting from my back circling to the right side of my chest, all while holding my breath.
I don't mind the extra steps, knowing that this will ensure all is good and we can confidently start treatment.
Here we go.
A loud CLUNK is sound (opening the radiation treatment) and a voice comes over the speakers telling my to breath in and hold my breath as long as I can.
I have two arches that I need to complete for the full treatment; the first circling from the right side of my chest to my back and then again circling from my back to the right side of my chest - all of which will be focusing on the left breast and all my surrounding lymph nodes. This will take a total of 22 seconds each arch - of course I counted!!
This is where that breathing box on my stomach starts to work - let me explain.
Because, I have breast cancer in the left breast breathing in and holding my breath will allow my lungs to push back my heart enough that the radiation treatment will not clip my heart nearly as much, if any. The tricky part about this, is it has to be exactly in the right position; not too much and not too little breath holding. The breathing box on my stomach will tell the machine (and techs watching) if I've taking to big of a breath or if I am taking to short of a breath - from there I will be told to let a little out or breath a little in, until perfect.
Now, try holding it for 44 seconds... PHFFF hell no. I do have to admit I did get better over the 6 weeks and I was able to hold my breath longer and longer each time, but so days it seemed impossible - again this is where the breathing box steps in and stops all treatment at the very exact second I drop out of range. It will not start up again until I am ready, and back in range.
This new breathing technique has been brought to London Reginal Cancer Centre only as of recent, and I am one of the few that has had to practice it so far.
That's it. I'm done. A whole 20-25 minutes in the LRCC, from checking in, to changing, to waiting, to being set up, having treatment and changing back again. Very short lived for the 1 hour driving there and the 1 hour drive home.
For the next 29 treatment days that will be the routine I will go through, by the end I'll know everything like the back of my hand!
During the treatment there is no pain, I can't really feel anything different in those 44 seconds, at least for 4 weeks - the 5th and 6th week is where I start to notice things.
I know the side effects are going to be very similar to a very bad sunburn; red skin, sensitivity, blisters and peeling. On top of that; my skin will start to dry out, I might notice shortness of breath, fatigue and drowsiness, and swelling of my arm/hand.
Like I mentioned the first 4 weeks I was fine, nothing unusual... I thought to myself I am very lucky! I do have to admit by the start of the 4th week of treatment I did start to notice a bit of a pink hue to the skin, and I was getting tired a lot easier, but nothing I found concerning.
By the 5th week, I did start to notice a lot more... I knew it was time, I was going to start with the side effects and it wasn't going to be pretty. It only took a week from when I noticed the skin was pink to becoming full blown red, itchy and starting to blister - and that was just the breast and chest area. My armpit (which is very sensitive skin), was inflamed, red, sore and peeling. Also, I was having a hard time swallowing because my throat swelled due to treatment. The good just started to get bad.
The worst part about this all was I still had another 7 treatments to go... I was starting to get worried.
By the 6th week my armpit had completely peeled, blistered and had become so sore I wasn't able to lift my arms above my head without help from the radiology techs. I was losing my voice because of the swelling in my throat and my breast and chest has started to peel. It had become a nightmare of pain.
I was prescribed Flamazine cream to apply to the burnt armpit and hydrocortisone 1% cream to apply to the breast and chest for the itching. As I am typing I have the flamazine cream slathered on my armpit, and will continue to do so twice a day for the next month. I am so sore it's hard to sleep at night. I am unable to wear a bra again due to the peeling under the breast and the armpit, only wearing baggy clothes that don't rub against the skin - I want this pain to go away as fast as it came on.
I knew there was going to be a high chance that the reconstructed left breast tissue was going to harden due to the radiation treatment, and they weren't wrong about that. The whole upper and outer side of the breast is stone hard. It aches, hurts to touch, very sensitive. I've been taking Tylenol to ease the pain, but it's just do damn apparent, it's hard to mask it even for a couple of hours.
This over time will correct itself - in 6 months I will be going back to the plastic surgeon for him to check out the breast and see if it's doing enough by itself or if I will require surgery to remove the hard tissues.
On March 28th 2019, after 30 trips to London, after 30, 44 second treatments I was able to hit the gong. I was done - I made it!! I was so proud to have the people there who mean the most to me to witness my success. I hit the gong and got a round of applause from the LRCC, a feeling I will not forget.
Everyone was so wonderful to work with at the LRCC Radiation Therapy department, I am very lucky that they made it a very "easy" experience for me. I can't thank them all enough; clerks, PSW's, techs, nurses and doctors - everyone.
It was a grueling 30 days driving back and forth to London, but I was so lucky to have my family and friends accompany me for the drives. There were also days I just wanted to be alone; days I drove there are back by myself. Not that I wasn't grateful for all the offers from everyone for the company, I just wanted some "me time", if that makes sense.
Everyday I was at the LRCC for treatment there was a "selfie" taken of me and my partners in crime that day. Below you will see the pictures of all 30!
Everyone who helped me with the gas cards and Tim Horton cards they were truly appreciated. You'll never know how much they helped out and made those 30 days a little bit easier - so thank you to all of you. xo
Positive Note: Even though I have a few war wounds that have to heal up, this is another battle I fought and won - I've completed the 30 days of treatment already. The weather co-operated for the most part when driving to London and I was very lucky to have such great support each and every day.