Dec 9th 2018 - Now that I'll be completing the first step of my journey (Chemotherapy treatment) on Dec 12th 2018, the next step will have to be discussed.
On Nov 30th 2018 I met with the Oncologist Surgeon at St. Joseph's Hospital in London, and on Dec 5th 2018 I met with the Plastic and Reconstruction Surgeon at University Hospital in London as well.
Both appointments came with a lot of information and my brain has been on overload ever since, it just won't stop spinning - but I needed both appointments to make decisions about my future health.
The first appointment had my emotions at an all time high; it wasn't the most positive information I received but it is what it is. The surgeon was not pleased with the way the chemotherapy treatments had reacted with the mass in my breast - he was hoping for a lot smaller in size. He was hoping that a lumpectomy was the way to go, unfortunately this was now not an option, for myself. I'll explain; because the mass is still 4 cm in size, it's still considered very big, and because of the size, it has rested itself directly behind my nipple. If a lumpectomy was to happen there would be a major deformity with my left breast and it would be impossible to "fix".
The only other option to remove the mass is to have a full mastectomy of my left breast.
Anyone who has asked or I have voiced my opinion to, I was already prepared that this was going to happen. I had my mind set on a mastectomy or even a bi-lateral mastectomy, so it didn't come as too much of a shock.
I wanted to secure the fact that I wouldn't not be able to be diagnosed with breast cancer again, they're just boobs right? I want to be confident in my future and if that is what it takes, then so be it.
The first surgeon will be the one to remove my breast and preform a Sentinel Node biopsy on my left side. This will ensure the cancer hasn't spread to my lymph nodes, or confirm it has and there will be more follow up treatment discussed.
During this appointment I've been given surgery options; including reconstruction if wanted. Thank goodness I had a few sets of ears in the room with me; mom and dad have been lifesavers throughout this whole process.
I've decided I will be doing a full mastectomy with reconstruction at the same time.
Now I know it's not needed right away and that it wouldn't really make a difference with my body if I did reconstruction at a later date, but I want to. I really don't know if I would be able to look at myself daily with "something missing", I don't know how I would react seeing the scars of a constant reminder of what happened, what I went through. Again.
For me I need to have the reconstruction done, I want a bit of my confidence back and I want to feel like me as best as I am able to. I'm truly afraid that if I don't I might spin in a downwards spiral and sink back into a depression - yes I said it, I suffer from depression. This journey has been a very tough go at times because of it, I don't want to allow myself to get back to that place if I have a chance to help that.
This may sound like good news, seeing as this is what I wanted - however not all went as planned. The Oncologist surgeon is not in favour of taking my right breast as well, seeing as it's "healthy". It's a touchy subject between both the surgeon and I, but in the long run it's come down to removing the left breast only.
After being overloaded with options for reconstruction surgery; implant with silicone or a "fat" implant using my own body, I've been referred to the Plastic and Reconstruction Surgeon - he will be able to answer all my question on all my options.
The next meeting with the reconstruction surgeon I had my sister Katelyn come with me. Let me tell you, with "chemo brain" it's very hard to listen and retain everything at times - my notebook and pen come to every appointment.
This appointment gave me all the information I needed to confirm 100% what I would be doing, the surgeon was amazing and helped answer all my questions - because of him I felt very confident in making a decision the doctor even drew me out diagrams!!
On Jan 10th 2019 (yes that close!!), I will be undergoing DIEP Flap surgery in London Ontario at University Hospital. This surgery will use my natural body skin, muscle, fat and blood vessels from my stomach and be placed into my chest to form a breast. This surgery does have a failure rate of about 1%, but the surgeon is very confident with my choice as well. The DIEP Flap surgery will take approx. 8 hours to preform, hoping all goes well, and heal time in 8 weeks. Be warned, if you do decide to look up this surgery out of curiosity, it's not the prettiest thing you'll see.
This surgery does have it's pros and cons like anything, but the pros weigh out the cons in my mind.... surgery is a go. I have signed all the proper paperwork, and made it official.
It does all seem like a very long surgery and heal time, I agree with that, but if I look at it, I am getting all the surgery I need done in one day (fingers crossed) and in 8 weeks time I can put a lot of this journey behind me - I'm already at the surgery stage in this wild life of mine.
Be sure closer to the surgery date, I will be posting on how I am feeling about the whole thing and any more information I find out. Stayed tuned :)
Positive Note: I'm already talking surgery, this will be a lot to go through, but the cancer in my breast will be gone, we're going to kill it!
