Oct 13th 2019 - Well I have to say, my oncologist pulled out a miracle with my dosage these two rounds on the harsher chemo drug. The reduction of the amount and splitting the treatment between day 1 and day 8 worked out perfectly, no hospitalization this time. We also opted to do hydration for 3 days post treatment just in case - I wouldn't have changed anything.
I did have the normal side effects; achy, tired and a bit (just ever so slightly...) crankiness - can you blame a girl? I stuck with the same anti-nausea pills and steroids post treatment as well, which I find work wonders. Knock on wood - still to this day I haven't had nausea .. a whole year of treatments and I've been fine, actually great!!! I'm very very lucky. Also I had my Nulasta shot 24 hours after treatment which helps brings my blood counts up. Because of the scar tissue from my reconstruction surgery I'm no longer able to get the shot in my stomach....it's so much fun going to your nurse mom for a shot in the bum cheek haha.
After these rounds of chemo I had my ups and downs.
In July I managed to tear all my muscles and tendons into my rotator cuff, my shoulder was kaput - still to this day it is healing. Now don't ask me what I did, I still haven't a clue. I do know with the surgery, radiation treatments and the amount of chemotherapy I've had it probably didn't help. Oh well what can you do at this point, just have to fight through another thing - it is getting better day to day though!
Between treatments, round 5 and 6 I was able to travel! Myself and my Aunt Sherri took off to Amsterdam, which we had a blast - another destination off my bucket list and making great memories!
Downfall was coming back home and heading right into treatment the very next day for 6 hours... gotta take the good with the bad, right? Worth it.
And I was lucky again after my 6th and final round; I travelled to Ireland with my "bestie" Lacy. So much fun; there were more memories, laughs and tears - but yet it still managed to be a trip of a lifetime.
Now on both of these trips, I have to admit there were a lot of times I didn't quite feel like "myself". I was tired a lot easier, I found I was starting to get shorter in breaths as the days went on when there was a lot of walking, and not to mention my should/arm would ache in pain majority of the time. I found myself to be a lot slower.
This wasn't something I was expecting so soon, but I knew one day it would come.
With all the treatment I've had, it's a known fact that my bone marrow isn't up to par and isn't working to it's best potential, I'm not producing "good cells" fast enough... which is the major factor in feeling the way I did.
When I got back from my last trip (Ireland), tearfully I realized that might have been my last trip for a while. Not because I'm not allowed to travel, or I don't have the time, or any other factor, except I wasn't myself.
These trips are starting to get harder on my body and I'm not recovering as fast...it's becoming to much. As a traveller and someone who is always on the go and never gives up, it kills me to utter those words. It may be time to take a break.
Cancer, it's always got a cruel way of destroying your life even more. It creeps up on the things I enjoy and use as an escape from this very thing - CANCER. Just, F U.
Well I don't want to sound like I am complaining, because I have been very lucky over the past year with things/places I have been able to discover....it just sucks.
Another thing I've noticed more and more, is my mental state. Now, I know I am allowed to have my bad days - gosh who isn't?! But I feel they are starting to come more often. There have been more days of lying in bed for hours on end, a lot more breakdowns of tears and silent "when will this all end" question, a lot more questioning of how much more I can take. I want to be strong, and damnit I will be as best as I can....but I feel like I'm slowly getting beat down.
I'm going to have my good days and bad days, but overall I'm still going to stay positive.
Positive Note: Over the last year I've been able to do so much with my life that a lot of people can only dream of. I've got the best support behind me, never questioning my plans, just always telling to "be careful and have fun".