October 16th 2018 - I'd love to say I had a good week since Oct 9th 2018, but I can't say so, the chemotherapy this time has hit me the hardest yet. Just today I'm finally having a "better" day (hence all the blog posts), a week post chemo.
After chemo on Tuesday I was very tired right after chemo but I managed to cut the grass and get out during the day and enjoy the beautiful sunshine. By the time night time came around it was a different story. Because of the steroids they give me pre chemo, I was always warned I might not sleep for the next 24-48 hours properly; well this time it hit me.
Tuesday night I tried to go to sleep, but I was up until 5:20am... when I finally felt the need to call it a "day".
Didn't last long though, I was up at 7:15am ready to go for the day.
I did manage to walk to the Farmer's Market for Mr. Levi's class trip, thankfully it was a short walk and a short visit.
The next day however and all I wanted to do was sleep. Actually that's been all I've been doing for the week. I felt very weak and useless. I felt like I was wasting a lot of precious time laying around all day...but I had no choice. I've had to give into my body this week.
Not only physically was I spent, but mentally it was starting to take a toll too.
I wasn't feeling like myself at all this week, I was ready to cry at any given moment, ready to give in and feel sorry for myself. I felt like I was ready to give up.
These feeling started to haunt me... give up? Me? No this can't be right - what the heck was going on?
I had no energy to go out, leave the house or even get out of bed. I mean, you know when you go for a "quick nap" and wake up 12.5 hours later... somethings up.
Sleeping has become my best friend.
It may sound crazy, but I'm a firm believer that animals know when something is up and they are meant to comfort... that's what's been going on this week. My pooch; Roara and cats; Purrcy and Rewka have become my cuddle buddies. Thankful for the unconditional love from a animal.
I've done the best I could do still be able to keep it together for Levi, Arlynn and Lucas; a visit from them still will always make my day. Their laughter is so contagious, a child will never know.
Still the chemotherapy had won this week.
Positive Note: Still kept up on my anti-nausea medication, which helped this week and my Nulasta shot, that will keep my counts up as best as it can.
