Nov 12th 2018 - I am 13 days post treatment date today and feeling good...now.
This was the 1st out of 3 rounds for this new "chemo cocktail", but it was my 4th round of chemotherapy in my body.
I have noticed there have been a few more effects as time goes on and I receive more drugs in my body. This round by far has hit my the hardest - I don't know if it's the new drug that did it, or maybe because my body has had enough and it took 4 rounds to realize it finally.... all I know is I didn't like the way I felt for a week straight.
I'd been doing so well treatment after treatment, I was on a good run. If I compare to my effects when I had treatment at the age of 16 to now, I've been golden! I had no right to complain, I know it can be a lot worse, I could feel a whole bunch crappier, I could be laid up in bed for days on end... but I'm not. In my mind, it's almost to scary how well things are going for me.
Well that thought that feeling, finally burst - the days I had when I was 16, the days I was dreading coming around again, their here.
I had chemotherapy on Oct 31st and for the 2 days following treatment nothing was any different... tired, lost of appetite due to no taste buds, but really nothing I haven't experienced the last 3 rounds. I was feeling good to say the least... everything was going okay.
I went out Friday evening with a few friends for a bit, nothing out of the ordinary.... typical day/night - Saturday morning was a completely different story.
I woke up in pain with nausea a headache and in a fog. Something wasn't right. The true effects of chemo have arrived. This feeling lasted a solid 7 days.
I was house bound for the week, when and if I did try to leave the house it didn't go so well, the pain in my joints was overwhelming and uncomfortable, that was the worst part. it was so intense that I was unable to move, sleep, I couldn't even lay down without being in tears. Being tired and in pain is the worst feeling to have.
I have to admit, on the 7th day, I finally broke down and told my parents between the tears, I couldn't do this anymore, I was done. Those words haunt me now, I can't believe I actually said that out loud and to the people that support me the most - what did I just say? I was disappointed in myself at that very second, all I could do was cry.
I know most of that was the "chemo talking" but it got to me, that's the worst part, I let it get to me. And I know right now as you are reading this, you're thinking; I'm allowed to feel like that, or it's okay to have those days... and you are right, totally right I am, but I just didn't want to get to that place due to treatment.
On the 8th day it was like someone flipped the switch, I woke up feeling like a million bucks! I couldn't believe it, no pain, I slept for 10 hours, no more fog... I was feeling like me again.
At that very moment I realized my guardian angles were looking out for me, when I felt at my lowest point and ready to throw in the towel, they new I wasn't done just yet and I would be fighting another day.
Since Nov 7th 2018, I've been feeling like me again, I've been sleeping, no more pain in my joints, my taste buds are coming back along with my appetite and I'm mentally back in the game. Stronger then ever - I've got this
Knowing the next two rounds my have this same effect on me and take me out for a few weeks, I've decided that now is the time to get my Christmas decorations up and the presents wrapped - it's been a busy week, but it feels good to have that stress off.
My next round is Nov 20th 2018 and the last one will fall Dec 11th 2018 (fingers crossed) - after that I'm FREE of the poison pumped through my veins!!
I've got a week to go before my next treatment and I'm going to make the best out of feeling better....
Positive Note: I was knocked down, but I got back up and I'm feeling mentally stronger then I ever have through this journey.
